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A few years ago, I got a call from a friend I worked with in Boston to tell me she was engaged. We had become pretty close over my four years in that city, and I was there for the beginning stages of her new relationship that started about a year before. Ecstatic, I immediately congratulated her and started asking for the details.

Since we had just moved to Northern Virginia, I immediately started planning our trip out there. “This will be great,” I thought to myself. “We’ll have an excuse to get back up there – maybe even catch a baseball game, depending on the season she chooses to get married.”

However, the reason for the call was not just to tell me she was engaged. It was also to tell me we weren’t invited.

you're not invited


“I’m really sorry, and I hope you’re not offended,” she said to me. “We just can’t have everyone there that I want to have.”

I wasn’t offended. In fact, I appreciated the call. It wasn’t too long after that I started seeing congratulatory Facebook posts, with people asking about her plans and when the wedding would be taking place. I think I would have been more offended had I seen those posts – with her explaining how they’re having a very small backyard ceremony – than if I hadn’t have heard from her personally.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I came across this article from the Today Show.

Apparently, it’s becoming more of a “thing” to call the uninvited and let them know they’re, well, not invited.

you're not invited - ugly


Luckily, my husband and I had talked about eloping for about five years before we actually did, so most of my family and friends were not only aware, but not surprised when they found out we did. It was hardest for our families, of course, but they know us – and they also knew we’d be footing the bill. This seems to be more and more the case, with the tradition of “Bride’s parents pay for the wedding” slowly falling by the wayside. It’s getting more and more difficult for parents to save for their children’s weddings, and many young adults are opting for a way to do it on their own.

What do you think? Would you be offended if you received notification from a friend or family member that you weren’t invited to their wedding?